


The Snow Will Eventually Melt

by rosy_cheeks



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: And coffee, EXO - Freeform, I may have a problem, M/M, but this time it gets better, here's another depressing one, kpop, more flower shops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2018-12-09 16:35:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11672955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosy_cheeks/pseuds/rosy_cheeks
Summary: When Sehun suddenly disappeared from Jongin's life one day, his way of coping was to lock himself in the memories. Instead, he finds we do indeed all need someone to lean on.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, for this fic, which I've been considering since JANUARY, finally decided it needs to be written. I wanted this fic to help me with certain writing techniques, unlike the other two I've written, which were mostly for fun and to get me back in the writing groove. I'm trying to do different things with so... I hope you enjoy and feel free to leave some constructive criticism.

The weight of the world felt much heavier when Jongin was staring out the foggy window of the city bus he was seated in. Three rows in front of him, two brothers who appeared no younger than eight kneeled in their seats and drew pictures in the condensation. Two teenage girls on his left huddled close and wrapped their mitten clad hands tightly around a steaming cup of hot chocolate. 

Winter. The skies were dark and the air was frigid, but the heaps of snow reflected blinding light from the hidden sun. The world moved in slow motion and despite the bustling of the city, the world was quiet too. 

At least, Jongin’s world was. 

The snow was falling lightly and settled into Jongin’s unnatural brown hair when he stepped off the bus. His bare, pale hands tugged at the neck of his sweater, raising it slightly, and then he dug those hands back into the deep pockets of his long, black winter peacoat. Jongin tilted his head down so the tip of his nose was covered by the turtleneck he wore. 

With a heavy heart and an even heavier body, Jongin moved one foot after the next, right, left, right, left, until he entered the cozy flower shop which stood not even ten feet from the bus stop. The flower shop was one of Jongin’s favorite places even if it brought him more misery each time he stepped foot in the small building flooded with a warm, yellow light. 

Jongin trudged up to the counter. A short American woman in maybe her early twenties with messy brown hair and big eyes greeted him with a big smile. 

“Ah. Hello. It’s nice to see you again,” the woman said in broken Korean, “What can I get for you today?” 

“Roses. A small bouquet please,” Jongin replied. 

Today was Valentine’s Day and Jongin intended to visit someone very special to him. The woman whipped together a stunning bouquet of roses in no time at all, handing them to Jongin. 

“Whoever is receiving these must be very lucky,” the woman winked. 

Jongin looked down at the flowers and stuck his nose in the flowers, inhaling the sweet scent and relaxing some. Without looking up and without any hint of a smile, he said, “I hope so.” 

Jongin nodded a goodbye, left the warm yellow light, and returned to the frigid air. He started his journey to give the roses to his special someone. The walk would be long, Jongin knew, but it gave him more time to think. 

Maybe two and a half years ago, a man named Sehun came into Jongin’s life and swept him off his feet. Sehun cared for Jongin, he took him out, he made sure to spend time with him. To Jongin, Sehun was the most perfect being in his world. They started to live together three months after they met and started to date. If you asked any of their friends, they would all say Sehun and Jongin were never seen apart from each other. 

Sehun told Jongin on their first Valentine’s Day together that roses were his favorite flower because of how vibrant they are in color, but also because he found it interested how they didn’t seem to last long. Jongin told him he should take better care of them. Nonetheless, Jongin went out later that day when Sehun was taking a nap to buy flowers for him. That was the first time Jongin went into the flower shop. Now he was buying all sorts of flowers for Sehun. 

Jongin started to house a strong disliking for roses over time. He would find them dead on the mantle and not want to clean them up. There would be shriveled petals on the island in the kitchen where a vase of them used to sit. Everywhere he looked, there were remains of roses, none of them alive anymore. Jongin just didn’t have the heart to throw them away. 

The roses’ perfume-like smell started to hurt Jongin’s nose, so he looked up as he crossed through the gates of his destination. In the past, Jongin would walk through neatly trimmed grass to get to Sehun, but now the snow covered the ground, making it hard to walk. 

The snow was calling to Jongin. “Don’t go,” it would whisper.

As the snow continued to sigh in Jongin’s ear, a few tears slipped from his eyes. In front of Jongin lied Sehun, underneath a gray slab with his name. Jongin fell to his knees, eyes puffy and cheeks red. He brushed the snow away from the base of the stone to reveal dead flower petals. Jongin laid the roses underneath Sehun’s name. 

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Sehun,” Jongin whimpered, “I love you so much.”

The snow started to seep into Jongin’s black trousers and long, black peacoat. His grey socks were soaked and the snow melted in his shoes. The snow surrounded him like a blanket; a cold, white blanket. 

“I wish you were here with me,” Jongin wept, his words barely audible. 

Once Jongin felt his lips turn purple and his hands and feet go numbs, he rose, wiped the tears from his saddened eyes and started the steep hike back to his empty apartment room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALSO
> 
> I started a tumblr for this account. I don't know how it's going to go, but if you interested, the url is rosycheeksandfangirlshrieks.tumblr.com


	2. Chapter 2

Jongin glanced at the time on his watch and turned off the T.V. He normally visited the cemetery early in the morning so he would have some time to himself before work, but this time he only left an hour between the time he got home and when he needed to head out again. Jongin heaved a heavy sigh and found his way back to the coat rack next to the door. He threw a dry coat over his shoulders and looked over at the mirror on the other wall. 

Jongin looked like shit. His eyes were bloodshot and sported deep, purple bags underneath while his hair was greasy and darker than usual from the lack of exposure to sunlight. The man let out another sigh and ran his hands through his hair in defeat. Then he walked through the door. 

The coffee shop Jongin worked at required a bus ride and a five-block hike in order to get there. Jongin never got a car because it wasn’t worth it. There weren’t any gas stations in the area and the car itself would eat his money so fast, he wouldn’t have anything left for food or rent. Luckily, Jongin enjoyed the short bus rides. He and Sehun used to take the bus together when they’d go to work and they’d share a brief kiss before walking separate ways. Then, after work they’d meet at the same spot they parted every morning and take the bus back home. Now that Sehun was gone, Jongin enjoyed the bus rides less everyday, but they were a nice reminder of what he used to have. 

Jongin entered the coffee shop through the back. He hung his coat up in his personal locker and took out his uniform. The uniform only consisted of a white button-up shirt and black trousers, which his co-worker Baekhyun would always complain about. Baekhyun would always get a light talking to from their boss, Junmyeon, about how he shouldn’t complain so loudly in front of the customers. Jongin felt lighter at the memory, but did not smile. Instead, he quickly changed and walked out the front doors to flip the ‘closed’ sign to say ‘open’.

“Hey, Jongin!” a voice piped up from behind him. 

Jongin turned to see Minseok, another one of his co-workers, tying an apron around his waist. 

“Good day so far?” Minseok asked. 

Jongin only nodded and head to the counter to retrieve his apron. 

The coffee shop was small, but it received a lot of attention from the rumors about its gorgeous workers and amazing coffee. Jongin couldn’t disagree with the statements he’d heard, but rush hour left him wishing they didn’t have so many customers every day. He worked diligently nonetheless as his work served as a fantastic distraction from his grief. 

Minseok tapped Jongin on his shoulder some while after rush hour ended to tell him he was granted an early leave from work that day. 

“Junmyeon allowed me to leave early because I’ve got a date for Valentine’s Day,” Minseok smiled, “Sorry to leave you alone for a while.” 

Jongin faked a grin and replied, “It’s fine. Have fun.”

Minseok nodded, untied his apron, and head out with a small wave. Jongin glanced at the clock on the wall and then at his watch. He still had an hour and a half until the shop closed and the stream of customers dwindled after rush hour ended, predictably because everyone had found a date for the day of love. Everyone except Jongin. 

Once there was only an hour left of work, Jongin decided to start cleaning up. He gathered numerous glasses and dishes and silverware to clean by hand because there was no dishwasher. When Jongin’s watch announced there were only thirty minutes left of work, he heard the bell hanging above the door ring. Jongin turned around to face the customer only to be greeted with a click sound accompanied by a blinding flash. 

Jongin blinked away light in surprise. Once his vision was properly restored, he saw the culprit: a camera-bearing man with awestruck eyes and beautifully smooth skin. 

“What was that for?” Jongin asked with a hint of frustration. 

“I like to capture the different emotions I see in people,” the man bluntly answered. 

“Oh?” Jongin questioned. 

“I’m a photographer.”

Jongin stood in shock for a second before shaking his head, “What can I get for you?”

The man blushed a little and ordered a black coffee. Jongin learned his name was Kyungsoo when he asked for a name to go with the order. After Kyungsoo sat down with his coffee and his camera, Jongin returned to washing dishes and countertops, but could never shake the peculiar man from his train of thought. 

When there was ten minutes left until the cafe closed, Kyungsoo was still sitting in his booth. His coffee was gone a cleaned up, yet he was still looking through his camera with a smile on his face. Jongin thought about how he hadn’t seen a smile so bright in a very long time. 

Once Jongin was done with all the cleaning, it was ten minutes past closing time. No one new had entered the shop, but Kyungsoo was still there. Jongin walked up to his booth.  
“Excuse me, sir,” Jongin said. Kyungsoo looked up at him and his smile washed away in a manner which made Jongin believe he had never smiled in the first place. “The cafe is closed now, sir,” Jongin finished. 

Kyungsoo’s stare was almost frightening. He glared at Jongin with a squint and furrowed brows. Jongin drew back a bit. 

“I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo said while collecting his belongings, “for making you feel uncomfortable earlier.” 

Jongin swallowed. “No, it’s okay,” he said in a hushed voice and watched the shorter man exit the cafe. He waited a moment after the bell rang, his mind empty. When he flipped the open sign to say ‘closed,’ Jongin hoped Kyungsoo would come back tomorrow for another cup of black coffee.


	3. Chapter 3

The red, old-fashioned alarm clock beside Jongin’s bed gave the signal to start his daily routine. First, Jongin brushed his teeth and brushed his hair, then showered and changed into warm clothes. He always thought he was prepared enough mentally to go trudge to the cemetery, but always found himself at his breaking point when he saw Sehun’s name on the gravestone. 

Sehun’s parents made sure their son got the funeral he deserved. Of course the event was nice, but Jongin felt so uneasy and empty sitting amongst strangers. The church blasted the air conditioning and the pews were unbearably hard. That day, Jongin wanted to cry, but found he couldn’t while in the presence of so many foreign faces. Sehun once told him he never wanted anyone else to see him cry, so reserved it for when the graveyard had emptied and he was the only one left at the ceremony. 

Jongin found that he still only cried when he was with Sehun. 

\---------

Once the clock told Jongin there was thirty minutes until work started, he pulled himself off the couch and toward the bus stop. Jongin felt especially drained as the memory of Sehun’s funeral played on repeat in his mind. He wanted to keep all socializing to a minimum today. 

However, luck was not on his side. Minseok looked lovestruck and would send looks in Jongin’s direction that begged for attention. Jongin held off for a while, but once his break rolled by, he found he couldn’t take it anymore. 

“How was your date last night, Minseok?” Jongin asked, unamused. 

“It was amazing!” Minseok announced, leaning against the counter with his head in his hands. “Jongdae was really sweet.” 

Minseok continued to squeal as Jongin continued to feign interest. After some time, Jongin heard the bell ring and saw Kyungsoo walk through the door. This time Jongin’s interest was genuine. Something about Kyungsoo excited Jongin. He was strange, yet charming. Jongin felt an instinct to explore him. 

“Kyungsoo!” Jongin called, sitting up straight in the booth he was sitting in. 

Kyungsoo looked over with his dark, wide eyes and blushed slightly. Jongin motioned for Kyungsoo to join him. The shorter man gladly sat opposite of him. 

Jongin thought of how odd his actions were when he was around Kyungsoo. Just a few moments ago he silently begged for silence, but now he wanted to indulge in a conversation with this person he had only seen once. 

“It’s nice to see you again,” Jongin smiled. 

“Um… Yeah,” Kyungsoo answered, confused. 

“Sorry, my coworker keeps going on about his date last night and I really didn’t want to hear it,” Jongin continued, pointing a thumb at Minseok, who gave a suspicious look at the two. 

“Ah. A sore subject?” Kyungsoo asked. 

“Yeah.”

“I can relate.”

Jongin gave an interested glance at Kyungsoo, “You didn’t have a date for Valentine’s Day?” 

“No.”

“Me neither,” Jongin said, looking at the mug in his hands. “Do you want some coffee?”

As Kyungsoo started to put his hands up in polite rejection, Jongin added, “It’s on me,” with a grin. 

Kyungsoo blushed and nodded. 

“Black, right?”

Kyungsoo nodded again. 

Minseok grabbed Jongin by the shoulder when he tied an apron around his waist and headed to his station to prepare Kyungsoo’s coffee. He wore a look of concern on his face. Minseok had known Jongin for quite some time as the two had been coworkers for years. Jongin was a very cheerful person. His laugh never failed to cheer up the entire shop. All of the cafe was drawn to him and his bubbly personality. Unfortunately, after Sehun’s death, Jongin stopped being the person he was. 

“Who is that boy?” Minseok asked, looking Jongin straight in the eye. 

Jongin became uncomfortable under Minseok’s glare and opted to look at the floor instead, “He’s just a customer I met yesterday.”

Minseok knew Jongin didn’t want to talk anymore than he had so he nodded and let Jongin go about his work (even though it was technically still Jongin’s lunch break). He couldn’t help but wonder how this boy could draw out some of Jongin’s true personality after only seeing him once before. 

Kyungsoo, on the other hand, was drawn to Jongin because of his sad smile, his greasy hair and dark under-eye bags. He was drawn to the way Jongin became so dejected after talking about his lack of a date. Kyungsoo felt there was something concerning about Jongin, and he was drawn to finding out what that something was. 

Jongin returned with a cup of hot coffee and set it in front of Kyungsoo before sitting back down in the booth. 

“I don’t think I ever introduced myself,” Jongin started, “My name is Kim Jongin-”

“Let me take you out!” Kyungsoo blurted out. 

Minseok turned his head in surprise at the two and Jongin widened his eyes. 

“If you want,” Kyungsoo said, turning his attention to his coffee. 

“A date?” 

“S-sure.”

Jongin hadn’t been on a date in a long time. He last went with Sehun when the air outside was warm and the flowers would bloom all throughout Seoul. They had gone to a cozy, casual udon restaurant and ate to their heart’s content. The two of them went there often and eventually got close to the staff. Jongin remembered every detail of their visits. 

“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” Kyungsoo noted, noticing what seemed like fear written on Jongin’s face. 

“No!” Jongin exclaimed, “No, I- I want to go.” Jongin’s smile was genuine and he missed the feeling even if it wasn’t quite bright enough. 

Kyungsoo smiled back, his big eyes scrunching into rather cute expression, “I can pick you up after your shift is over,” he suggested. 

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Jongin said, smile still stuck on his face. 

For the remainder of Jongin’s lunch break they created small talk and broke any awkward barrier left between the two of them. Jongin learned about Kyungsoo’s love of the arts; he sang and acted alongside his photography occupation. He made Kyungsoo promise to sing for him one day. Kyungsoo learned that Jongin has a love of dogs and used to dance. Kyungsoo made him promise to dance for him one day. 

From behind the counter, Minseok listened to his coworker and friend smile and laugh along with this boy he met yesterday. He tried to break down Jongin’s walls and comfort him ever since Sehun passed away. How this man captured Jongin and reeled him in amazed Minseok and he hoped Kyungsoo wouldn’t cross any unseen borders on their date. 

Nevertheless, Minseok too wore a smile on his face.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK I'M REALLY SORRY! I know I haven't updated this in over two months. School started shortly after I posted the last chapter so I've gotten really busy. However, I have some more time to write now, so hopefully I'll fulfill my personal goal of one chapter a month at the least. 
> 
> On the other hand, I have no idea what I'm doing with fic. I knew how I wanted to start and how I want to end it, but I don't know a single thing about the rest of it. Well, we'll see where this goes. Also, I want to write longer chapters so stuff will take a little longer than usual. Anyway, here it is.

Jongin felt his spirits lift tremendously over the next few hours. Thoughts of Kyungsoo swirled through his mind all throughout the remainder of the work day. For the first time in many months, Jongin was smiling a genuine smile. Minseok was mildly frightened. The last time he saw Jongin smile was when he went out with Sehun for the final time before he passed. To see Jongin so easily persuaded into happiness was concerning to Minseok, but at the same time, he knew this Kyungsoo must have something special. 

Then, when Jongin was putting the last dirty dish into the dishwasher, he heard the squeak of car tires outside the building. He smiled and practically ran to the back, changing faster than he ever had before. Quickly, he flung his coat over his shoulders and flew out the door. Kyungsoo was exiting his car when Jongin approached. 

“Oh,” Kyungsoo said, startled, “Hi. You got out fast.”

Jongin blushed, “My shift just ended.” 

Kyungsoo smiled and opened the car door for Jongin.

“Where are we headed?” Jongin asked, twirling his thumbs nervously. 

“You’ll see,” Kyungsoo answered. 

The car ride wasn’t as awkward as Jongin thought it would be. He and Kyungsoo made small talk and laughed with each other about funny work stories. Jongin learned a lot about Kyungsoo. He was a journalist who had been living here for a little more than a month. He spotted the café one morning when driving the work and decided to stop in. Jongin was grateful that he did. 

When the car stopped, Jongin looked out the window to see a park. In all the years he had been living here, never once did Jongin see this park. The trees were green despite it being the middle of winter and there were still a few flowers that hadn’t died. In the middle of the park was a barely occupied ice skating rink. 

“Ice skating?” Jongin questioned.

“I hope you’ve been before,” Kyungsoo said. 

“It’s been a while,” Jongin replied. 

Sehun took him ice skating a few times. They would go to an indoor rink near their apartment that was normally crowded, but they would sneak in around closing time so they could skate alone. Sehun wasn’t very good and would cling to Jongin’s jacket sleeve for balance. The two would go slow, taking the time to memorize every detail of the other: the texture of their skin when they held hands, the way they moved across the ice, the way they smiled when the other fell. Everything. 

“We can get hot chocolate after,” Kyungsoo added. 

Jongin and Kyungsoo swiftly exited the car, then walked to the rink to collect their skates. The only people skating were a mother and her daughter and an elderly couple. 

“My mom used to take me here when I was that age,” Kyungsoo said, motioning toward the young girl with her mother. 

Jongin chuckled, trying to imagine what Kyungsoo looked like back then. Kyungsoo then took his hand and led him to the rink. There weren’t any rails, since the rink was on an actual lake, so Jongin grabbed onto Kyungsoo’s sleeve just like Sehun used to grab onto his. 

Kyungsoo laughed, “Do you remember how to skate?”

Jongin smiled back, “Barely.” 

Jongin struggled to keep up with Kyungsoo as they skated. However, this was the most fun Jongin had had since Sehun left him. Most thoughts of Sehun completely left him while they drifted across the ice. At some point, Kyungsoo held Jongin’s hand to stop him from falling over, but never let go after that. His hands warmed Jongin in the freezing air. It felt like a pair of gloves. 

“Hey,” Jongin said. 

Kyungsoo looked up. 

“Let’s go get some hot chocolate,” Jongin finished. 

The two of them stopped in the middle of the rink. Everyone else had left, leaving them alone. They stared into each other’s eyes, mesmerized. Kyungsoo’s eyes were large and beautiful. Jongin found it hard to look away, but he eventually found his way out of his skates. Grabbing hold of Kyungsoo’s hand again, Jongin led them to the hot chocolate stand. He ordered two and they sat down on a bench nearby with warm cups of cocoa in their hands. They were both content. 

“Why do you work at the café?” Kyungsoo asked, curious. 

Jongin furrowed his brows, “I’m not really sure. I like coffee a lot, I guess. I needed a job and Junmyeon happened to be hiring.” 

“Junmyeon?” Kyungsoo questioned. 

“He’s my boss,” Jongin answered, “We were friends in high school.” 

Kyungsoo smiled at him, “Is there anything else you would do?” 

Jongin thought for a minute, eventually remembering his childhood dream. He remembered the days he would stay up with his mom to cook dinner for his lazy father. He remembered taste testing different soups they would cook or cookies they would bake. Jongin would ask for cookbooks as gifts instead of action figures like the rest of his friends. 

Jongin used to cook for Sehun too. Sehun would hum in delight on the cold winter days they shared together with a warm tray of chocolate chip cookies. He would steal a slice of pork before dinner when Jongin wasn’t looking and then Jongin would chase him around the house, tackling him to the couch and then just lying there for a few minutes before remembering he was supposed to be cooking. 

“I want to be a cook,” Jongin answered. 

The car ride back felt short. They chatted for the twenty-or-so minutes it took to get back to Jongin’s apartment. They talked about the weather and how they hated the cold. They talked about how gloves were better than mittens and how dogs were better than cats. They wanted to fill the space between them. 

Soon, Jongin looked out the window and saw he had arrived at his dreaded, empty apartment. He thanked Kyungsoo and began to drag himself out the car. Kyungsoo stopped him with a kiss on the cheek. 

“Thank you,” Kyungsoo said, “And you should cook for me sometime.” 

Jongin stood in shock as Kyungsoo drove away. He slowly lifted his hand to his cheeks and lightly touched his fingers to the spot where Kyungsoo’s lips had been. The spot was warm, like Kyungsoo’s hands, but Jongin didn’t feel right. He felt like something was off. 

He got back to his room at slow pace, pondering the day. Everything was so right. So why did he feel so wrong? It was once Jongin flopped on his bed that he started to think of Sehun again. He just went on a date with another man without any hesitation or thought about what Sehun would think. He just pushed Sehun to the side. Jongin was supposed to live for Sehun, but how could he do that when he was with someone else? 

Jongin went to sleep that night with one of the worst headaches of his life. 

The next day, Jongin woke with thoughts of Sehun still roaming around his mind. He trudged to the cemetery that morning, eager to apologize. He fell to his knees in the snow once again and let the tears flow out of his eyes without any dam to hold them back. He went to work afterword, the bottom of his coat once again soaked from the snow. 

Baekhyun and Minseok noticed something was off with Jongin when he came in. His eyes were darker and his hair was knotted as if he hadn’t brushed it in years. 

“I though he enjoyed his date last night,” Minseok said. 

“I really hope the guy didn’t turn out to be a jerk,” Baekhyun started. 

He paused. 

“Oh my god, Minseok, what if he was a bad guy?” 

“Then I’ll beat the shit out of him!” Minseok answered. 

Jongin changed slower than he ever had before. The fabric of his shirt felt like ten thousand pounds pulling him to the floor. He heaved a sigh and rested his forehead against the mirror in the changing room. He breathed in and out, slowly and steadily. Jongin composed himself and when he felt ready, tied his apron around his waist and pushed through the swinging doors to the counter. The first few customers had already come in. 

“Jongin,” Junmyeon said, “you’re late.”

Junmyeon didn’t come out to work very often. Normally he sat in the back office. Junmyeon’s voice was forgiving when normally it was strict. That meant someone had noticed how Jongin looked and gave him a pass. Jongin tried say he wouldn’t be late again, but his voice betrayed him. All he did was nod. Junmyeon pat his shoulder as he walked by, a pitiful look on his face. 

“Hey, if you ever need anything, we’re here for you,” he whispered. 

Jongin forced a smile. 

Baekhyun and Minseok were especially careful around Jongin that morning. They gave him sympathetic glances and were careful not to touch him when they handed him cups or mugs. Jongin hated it. He felt them staring through his skull and he felt how they wanted to say something. Jongin wanted to disappear in that moment. He wanted to be with Sehun so badly. 

Lunch break couldn’t have come any slower and Kyungsoo hadn’t stopped in yet. Or maybe he had and Jongin didn’t notice. However, Baekhyun and Minseok made sure to keep him company. They were sitting in the break room in the back, Baekhyun making light conversation that Jongin had no interest in. 

“Jongin,” Baekhyun called. 

Jongin looked up. 

“What’s wrong?”

Jongin stared at him, not wanting nor trying to reply. 

“Seriously. How are you ever going to get better if you never talk to anyone!” Baekhyun said, starting to raise his voice, frustrated. 

Minseok laid a hand on Baekhyun chest, telling him not to push Jongin to say anything. 

But Baekhyun objected, “No! I can’t stand seeing you like this! We know you’re upset about Sehun, but that was months ago and frankly, you need to move on!” 

Minseok gasped, unconsciously scooting away from the table. 

Jongin felt the rage start to boil in the pit on his stomach, burning and shriveling his insides. How dare he speak his name. How dare he assume anything about his situation. He didn’t know! He didn’t know what it felt like! To feel empty every morning. To feel like the weight of the world was pushing down on his chest. To feel so utterly alone!

“Shut up,” Jongin muttered. 

“You need to move on. You can find what you had with Sehun with Kyungsoo. It seemed like you really liked him.”

“Shut up!” Jongin screamed, tears flowing down his cold cheeks. 

“Baekhyun, stop,” Minseok warns, grabbing hold of his shirt sleeve in an attempt to pull him away. 

“I just want him to get better,” Baekhyun argued, “He’s always depressed and he never lets any of us help him!” 

“Baekhyun,” Minseok repeated. 

“Why won’t you let us help you?” Baekhyun asked, his voice full of sorrow. 

“I- I can’t,” Jongin said. 

His mind was overflowing with thoughts of Sehun. Now that he knew how his co-workers felt, he wanted to escape. He wanted to get better for them, but he felt like a piece of him was ripped from his soul, never to recover. 

“WHY?” Baekhyun yelled, frustration seeping out of him, “All we want to do is help, but you never let us in! Look what he’s done to you. You need to let him go!” 

Junmyeon appeared in the doorway, worried and confused and just in time to see Jongin push the chair he was sitting in to the floor. Jongin grabbed his wet coat and pushed past Junmyeon, not even noticing him. He nearly ran out the door and slammed it shut behind him in a manner that seemed to shake the entire building. 

Jongin cried. He cried and he ran until he had no more tears to shed. He missed the bus stop a while back and sat on the curb to catch his breath. He felt so hollow sitting on the side of the road in a snow soaked coat. He felt so tired. 

“Jongin?” 

A voice from behind him called his name. At first Jongin thought it was Baekhyun who came to apologize, but he didn’t feel like turning around or responding. The owner of the voice moved closer to him. 

“Jongin,” it repeated. 

This time Jongin looked up and saw Kyungsoo with a worried expression setting a hand on his shoulder. 

“What are you doing here?” he said, “It’s so cold out and your coat is wet.”

Jongin realized that he was cold. His hands and feet were numb and his coat was starting to get water on the uniform he forgot to change out of. Kyungsoo helped him up off the ground. 

“I’m going to take you home, okay?” Kyungsoo told him.

Jongin told him directions in a hushed voice. He didn’t want Kyungsoo to come over. His house was a mess and he hadn’t bothered to clean anything since Sehun died. But Jongin didn’t feel like fighting. He let Kyungsoo take him to his apartment and practically drag him toward the bedroom, but not before Kyungsoo murmured a, “Jesus Christ.”

Kyungsoo sat Jongin down on the bed and then sat next to him. 

“What happened?” he asked. 

Jongin didn’t know if he should tell Kyungsoo about Sehun. They hadn’t known each other that long anyway. 

“You didn’t come to the café today,” Jongin said instead. 

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo warned, “What’s wrong?”

Jongin let a heavy sigh slip between his lips. And then he began. 

“A couple months ago Sehun died.”

“Sehun?”

“My boyfriend.”

“Oh. I’m so sorry.” 

Kyungsoo leaned closer. That was an unusual gesture. Most people leaned away, wanting to give him space. Jongin felt safe with him close. So he told Kyungsoo everything. He told him about Sehun and he told him about what Baekhyun said just minutes ago. 

“You should take it easy,” Kyungsoo said, rubbing circles into Jongin’s back. 

“I know,” Jongin replied. 

“You should have said something before yesterday. If you weren’t ready to go out again you should have told me.”

“I know.”

Kyungsoo sighed this time, “I can be a friend, Jongin. Just tell me if you need anything.” 

“But I-,” Jongin said, hesitating, “I want to try. I really enjoy being around you. Yesterday was the happiest I’ve been in a long time.”

Jongin met Kyungsoo’s eyes. Kyungsoo was trying to hold back his smile. 

“I want to help you,” he urged.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Jongin croaked. 

“Everyone gets hurt,” Kyungsoo pushed. 

Jongin smiled. It was a small, almost unnoticeable smile, but it was there. He leaned his forehead against Kyungsoo’s shoulder. Kyungsoo brushed his fingers through Jongin’s hair soothingly. They felt at ease, both of them. Kyungsoo stayed over at Jongin’s place for the rest of the day, helping him clean up his mess of an apartment. They exchanged numbers, made dinner, and then turned on some dramas, falling asleep after a few episodes. 

In that moment, Jongin felt hopeful. He felt that with Kyungsoo he could get better.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I'm not updating this once a month as I hoped I would, but I've gotten so many good ideas that I want to write that have taken over my mind. This fic might take a backseat for a while, but I'm not sure. 
> 
> I've been in a very bad mood lately and I need time to sort myself out too. That's another reason why this might not be updating well for a while. I need to get myself together first. But who knows? Maybe writing this will help me.

Jongin wakes up early the next morning, refreshed from going to sleep earlier than normal. Kyungsoo was running his graceful fingers through his hair soothingly. Jongin almost fell back asleep, but instead opted for a smile. The pain in his chest was lighter than yesterday. 

“I want to visit Sehun with you,” Kyungsoo said. 

Jongin’s eyes widened, “What?” 

“You heard me,” Kyungsoo pushed, “We can buy flowers for him too.”

Jongin began to feel choked up. He had to fight back the sobs rising in his throat. 

“I’d like that,” Jongin replied, voice softer and quieter than even a whisper. 

Kyungsoo got a day off from work, lying and saying it was for family reasons, so Jongin could take Kyungsoo to the flower shop with the warm light. This time he let Kyungsoo pick out the flowers, much to Kyungsoo’s disapproval. He chose some chrysanthemums. The girl behind the counter met Jongin’s eyes and gave an empathetic smile. Jongin gave a half-smile back. 

When they were on their way to the cemetery, Kyungsoo asked about the girl behind the counter. 

“I go to that shop often. I’ve been going ever since,” Jongin paused and took a breath, not wanted to speak those horrid words. 

Kyungsoo laid a reassuring hand on his back. 

“The first day I went in there I broke down. It was pretty embarrassing, but no one else was there except me and her. She comforted me and it really helped,” Jongin continued, “I like to think she’s always there to help.”

“Ah,” Kyungsoo said. 

“I’m pretty sure she doesn’t speak much Korean, though,” Jongin gave a light chuckle. 

Kyungsoo laughed. It lifted Jongin’s spirits to hear his voice. 

Soon, Jongin and Kyungsoo found themselves in front of Sehun. The waves of emotion were hitting Jongin so fast. He wasn’t used to having someone else with him, but Kyungsoo had already seen him cry. Kyungsoo kneeled in the snow and carefully placed the flowers by Sehun. The tears started to drip down Jongin’s cheeks. 

“I’ll do my best to take care of him,” Kyungsoo told Sehun, lightly bowing, “and I’ll make sure he gets better.”

Jongin began to sob, “Thank you.” 

Kyungsoo enveloped Jongin in a warm, caring hug. Jongin knew he had been crying out for help, but never actually allowing himself to get any. He knew he needed someone. He knew how lucky he was to have Kyungsoo by his side now. 

Jongin was aware that he was leaving a puddle of tears on Kyungsoo’s shoulder, but he continued to cry. Kyungsoo was humming to him. It was nice. He had a soothing voice. He was rubbing his back as if Jongin were a baby, nearly lulling him to sleep. 

Kyungsoo took Jongin back to the apartment after that. He plopped Jongin on the couch and told him he’d be back with coffee soon. Jongin sent a smile in his direction. As Kyungsoo closed the door behind him, Jongin let out a large sigh. He felt so heavy. His body ached and his eyes felt dry from the frigid air. To pass some time while Kyungsoo was out, Jongin turned on some drama. He wasn’t really watching and it wasn’t the best distraction. 

Jongin was left alone and the only thing he felt he could do was think. So he thought about everything Baekhyun had said. He thought about Minseok trying to hold him back and how he pushed Junmyeon. Baekhyun only wanted the best for him and Jongin knew he had good intentions, but sometimes he felt he needed a long break from him. It was a good thing Junmyeon was so understanding. 

Kyungsoo came back with coffee and some pastries after a while and handed one of the cups o Jongin. It warmed his hands immediately and Jongin sighed, sliding down the couch some more. Kyungsoo sat down with him and took a bite out of his pastry. 

“Are you feeling better?” he asked Jongin. 

“Definitely now that I have coffee,” Jongin replied jokingly. 

Kyungsoo laughed and took a sip of the coffee, “Oh. This is pretty good.”

“Mmm,” Jongin hummed in agreement. 

“Hey,” Kyungsoo started, “Do you want to help me cook something for dinner?”

Jongin looked at him, “Why?”

“You told me you would cook for me. Remember?”

Jongin sighed. 

“Ok. I’m taking you to the grocery store and we’re going to get ingredients.”

“For what?” Jongin said, surprised. 

“Kimchi spaghetti.” 

Kyungsoo took hold of Jongin’s hand and led him to the grocery store. Jongin hadn’t been to this particular store as it was rather expensive and meant for people who were really dedicated to cooking. He follows Kyungsoo around the store as they collect all the ingredients they need. After only thirty short minutes Kyungsoo paid and led Jongin back home. He set up the kitchen and tugged Jongin over to help him. Kyungsoo turned on some music from his favorite playlist and started to dance around the kitchen while attempting to cook at the same time. 

He grabbed Jongin’s hands and tried to get him to move to the music. Jongin finally gave in and swayed through the cramped apartment kitchen, hilariously incorporating cooking into his routine. Kyungsoo’s laugh was his fuel, guiding him across the floor. 

“I didn’t know you could dance so well,” Kyungsoo said, “You could be a professional.”

“It’s another one of my childhood hobbies,” Jongin explained. 

The two finished making their meal after spending twice as long cooking as they should have. They grabbed some bowls and scooped some food into them, then sat down on the couch and cuddled underneath a blanket. 

“Thank you for today,” Jongin attempted to say through a mouthful of spaghetti. 

“Close your mouth when you eat,” Kyungsoo giggled. 

He scooted closer to Jongin and laid his head down on his shoulder. Jongin smiled and turned on the TV, running a hand through Kyungsoo’s hair with gratitude. This was the first night in a long time that Jongin hadn’t thought about Sehun.


End file.
